The adventures of Joshie, Jacinta, Bernard and Nutella in Brick Lane

The above photograph of four hipsters laughing as they walk down Brick Lane was distributed by Tower Hamlets council on Twitter yesterday.

“Why not take a stroll down to Brick Lane this Bank Holiday Monday? We’ve allocated more safe space for pedestrians and outside areas for dining to aid social distancing.

Enjoy one of London’s most eclectic and exciting areas for food, fashion, shopping and street art.”

Once Moley realised this was not a spoof and the council was deadly serious in its desire to attract even more hipsters to this eclectic (what does that even mean?) part of the borough he decided to rise above the sh*t storm created on Twitter and find out what else Joshie, Jacinta, Bernard and Nutella had got up to?

Let’s follow them shall we? Across the interwebs we go, chai latte in hand, eavesdropping on their conversations.

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“Oh Joshie this is so much fun! But why on earth would we want to save Mummy and Daddy’s money during the hols?,” said Jacinta. “The whole point of the hols is to spend their dosh!”

“Hurrah!” said Bernard.

Are teenagers moods contagious?

Nutella thought it was a rather super idea to take a photo on her phone of all her chums!

“I know, we could call it a groupie photo!” she said, visibly excited at her amazingly unique idea.

Joshie was not convinced however and thought it should be called more marketing bullsh*t using dirt cheap royalty free photography which you could find anywhere for about 25p. Nutella was visibly hurt at this.

“Don’t be a silly billy Joshie! These photos are unique, they show us as we are, jolly chums having a super jolly time in…. wherever we are.”

“Hurrah!” said Bernard.

Studying in the UK

“Brick Road is such a lovely place isn’t? Really genuine. You know, lots of locals,” observed Jacinta.

“You mean the poor people?” said Joshie.

“Yes, you know, the ones who get their drivers to take them to where they want to go in those huge red things with the two decks!”

“Hurrah!” said Bernard.

The best of Guildford

“Is this Guildford Joshie?” asked Jacinta. “No Jacs, this is still Bricks Road in Islington,” replied Joshie.

“Is there anywhere round here we can get a curry? Japanese of course,” asked Jacinta, looking up and down the road.



“‘Fraid not darling, maybe we should move on to Shoreditch?”

“Super,” said Jacinta  and booked an Uber.

““Hurrah!” said Bernard. “Can we go to Shadwell DLR and score some crack now?”

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